If lockdown 2.0 left you with parenting fatigue and like the movie star of your very own Groundhog Day, then stage 4 restrictions are likely to be that kind of deal you would never have agreed to sign!
We’ve heard from a lot of parents who tell us they’re really struggling with lockdown 2.0, coupled with extreme parental guilt at being constantly exhausted, drained, losing it more regularly and getting more worked up over things these days.
Life at the moment has no variation and no ability to tap out.
So, I decided to ask one of our partners, Louise Gilbert, mum of 2, and Founder & Director of The Intime Collective about the moment she heard about stage 4 restrictions, she recalled:
“I heard the news on Sunday that childhood centres and schools were to close. I instantly felt sick!”
Louise then told me, uncandidly, her actual thought was ‘what the F!@#’, followed by anger and guilt.
Like many of you, Louise told me she felt like this was another injustice directed towards women given many women are take on the lion share of caring duties and women in business: ‘how can I look after 2 toddlers for 6 weeks while running my business?!’.
And, with that, a sense of overwhelming guilt at the thought of prioritising her business over her children, which Louise says is a constant struggle. Oh, and then followed by logic around the necessity for these restrictions to keep people safe.
Louise then put her business hat back on, reminded herself that her business is about relationships and strengthening relationships. She can call on her partner for support.
And, with that self-talk, Louise took control over two things, her:
Actions & Attention.
Let’s look at what’s causing you to be frustrated and how you can take control in
4 simple steps
using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (A.C.T).
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List your current frustration eg: stuck in the house all day, no catch ups with friends, kids not in school etc…
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Act: Recognise the situation for what it is. Accept your thoughts and feelings. Be present. Notice any unhelpful thoughts (eg: I’m not good enough, I’m not wired to deal with this) and try to defuse these. Then, acknowledge the situation for what it is. What do you have control over?
Note: it helps to write down feelings, unhelpful thoughts, your values and what you have control over and what you do not have control over.
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Commit: Connect with your values. What’s important to you?
Note: It’s your values that give your life purpose and meaning. They describe what you want and how to behave. So, making this connection is important.
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Take action. Set an action plan on how you will make changes. Only commit to the things you have control over:
YOUR Actions and YOUR Attention.
Note: Make sure that you can start with doing one thing today as part of your action plan.
Lockdown 2.0, S4 will challenge you and everyone you know. Your children will pick up on your emotions and know when you are struggling, which may see your situation escalate even more quickly.
Remember we are all in the same storm but different boats.
It’s a tough time at the moment and it’s okay to reach out for help. We can help make life in your boat less rocky and give you tips and strategies to help manage the hard stuff to sail a little easier through the storm.
If you have a worry or concern about your child, chat to your GP, a trusted health professional or call us on 0478 129 135.
